The Wife of Willesden: A Glossary

Note on the Text

In North West London—as in any corner of any big city—we have some vocabulary that is peculiar to the neighbourhood, and may need translation. Also: places, objects, and ideas. Please find below fifty explanations and translations that we hope will illuminate some of the “North Wheezian” peculiarities you will find in your entertainment this evening.

1. The Kilburn High Road: An ancient and ungentrifiable street that runs through North West London. Mainly chicken shops.
2. The Colin Campbell: An old pub on the Kilburn High Road
3. The Big Issue: A magazine created and sold by the unhoused.
4. Flexing: Showing off, especially with clothes or money.
5. From mi eye deh a mi knee: From back when my eyes were at my knees. Therefore: since I was a small child. From Jamaican Patois.
6. Brassic: To be very low on funds; broke
7. Slagging off/Slating: Talking shit about somebody
8. Kipping:Sleeping
9. To take the huff: To get offended
10. Proper screwing:To be really annoyed
11. ’low it: Not to judge something too harshly; to “allow it.”
12. Eediat: From Jamaican Patois.
13. To rinse: To use up all of something
14. Chatting breeze: Talking a load of nonsense
15. Grinding:To dance very close to another person in a sexual manner
16. Baileys: An alcoholic Irish Cream drink
17. Jamming: Hanging around with a friend
18. Camden Palais: A beloved North London nightclub, now under new management and renamed. 
19. Cuss: To run someone down, verbally.
20. Mandem: Your crew, your boys.
21. Galdem: Your crew, your girls.
22. To eff with: To mess with somebody
23. Chief: A dated North West London phrase from the 90s, now obsolete, meaning complete and utter idiot.
24. Pum pum: A vagina 
25. Mi deh yah: Everything is good, I’m here, I’m ok. A transplanted idiom from Jamaican Patois.
26. Braffing: From Jamaican Patois.
27. Pickney: From Jamaican Patois.
28. Hang wid da yute: Spend time with young people. From Jamaican Patois.
29. Raving: Going out to nightclubs and dancing all night. Also can be done in a field. 
30. James Crook: A Victorian family-run Funeral Directors in North West London, still in operation.
31. Fit: Good-looking
32. Traipsing: Wandering around North West London, usually in search of late-night transport.
33. Brent: London is divided into thirty-two Boroughs. Brent is ours.
34. To chirps: To chat someone up; to flirt
35. Arse over tit: To fall over dramatically
36. Teef: A thief
37. Banging on and on: Talking about something in a relentless manner
38. Bailiff: The guy who comes to repossess your furniture when you can’t pay a debt.
39. Pisshead: A drunk 
40. Duppy: A malevolent spirit or ghost. From Jamaican Patois.
41. River Mumma and Ol’Higue: Fearsome female figures from Jamaican folklore
42. Muss-muss: Really ugly and dishevelled. From Jamaican Patois.
43. Creps: Sneakers
44. Butters: Old North Wheezian term, now obsolete, meaning: unattractive.
45. Buss up: Blow up, explode. From Jamaican Patois.
46. Arks: Ask
47. Oh my days!: You can’t be serious! Wow!
48. Bwoy: Young man. From Jamaican Patois.
49. Wastemen: The sort of men who waste your time, energy, money; a generally useless man.
50. Cut up about it: Very upset about something
51. The Ends: Another term for your neighbourhood, wherever your neighbourhood may be. Every borough in London believes they invented this phrase, but there is no doubt in our minds that its true origins are to be found right here, in North West London.

Zadie Smith is the author of the novels White Teeth, The Autograph Man, On Beauty, NW, and Swing Time; as well as a novella, The Embassy of Cambodia; three collections of essays, Changing My Mind, Feel Free, and Intimations; and a short story collection, Grand Union.